There's something I used to do a lot that I try not to do much anymore- arguing about whether or not something is feminist. A business practice, a consumer habit, a piece of language... I realised somewhere along the way that the gulf between what I mean when I say feminist vs what some others mean is SO ENORMOUS that there's no scaffolding for the debate.

Our most generative conversations are surely those that increase intimacy, that tend to that relational space between us. But this is high risk.

I believe that building tolerance for this is key to creating the conditions from which our shared liveable futures could emerge. We've been devastatingly de-skilled in relation inside these systems. Just as the soil of the Earth has been stripped by extractive systems, the terrain of relation is largely depleted.

How do we tend that terrain? How will we compost together?

I loved giving this interview with The Better Normal where we explored intersectionality, context and complexity in coaching. Read the whole thing here.

Do Good and Do Well with Sarah Fox, listen to our podcast episode here.

I often come away from podcast recordings wondering

“What did I say?”

“Was any of it useful?”

“What was that conversation even about?”

I really try to commit to being deeply present in the discussion and to speak without second guessing where it’s going. I believe many of us spend a great deal of time in relation with others overthinking our communication, worrying about certain parts of us being perceived.

I have desires, I have longings, I have yearnings. They are vibrant and vague. They are more about feelings than anything else.

OF COURSE I need to give some consideration to the steps I need to take in those directions, and any number of practicalities around them. But I won't adhere to systemic norms that give us things like SMART GOALS to MAXIMISE or OPTIMISE etc etc.

Let me air my grievances with SMART goals for a bit as it's a good example of ways in which we seek to oversimplify life and treat ourselves and each other like machines...

How might we navigate the festive season as our awareness of the polycrisis deepens?

I literally feel sick at the sight, even the thought, of all the stuff, and what it contains.

The cheap tat that contains the exploitation of someone’s labour. The flimsy imitations of designer goods that contain the tease- perhaps you will be worthy of inclusion or positive regard if you present yourself like this. The luxury items that contain the implication that the more we love someone the more we spend on them.

One of my fave lines from one of my fave books for these times.

"If it's going to take all of us, give me sticky, sticky relation." ~ Lola Olufemi, Experiments in Imagining Otherwise

We find ourselves, many of us, in a bind. My husband (a person who loves to be around people and would be out 7 nights a week if he could) used to say to me, "for someone who can't stand people, you really love people".

I love people. I love us so much.

"We require each other in unexpected collaborations and combinations and hot compost piles. We become- with each other, or not at all." ~ Donna J. Haraway. You're invited to join us for the next quarter of this exploration.

In recent years I've become devoted to contextualising my clients' experiences with them. Sas Petherick (whose training I embarked on in 2020) calls it thickening the story. It doesn't make sense to me when people say that whilst therapy is about looking back, coaching is about looking forwards.

The difficulty isn't trying to stop people from taking advantage of a lower price they don't need- it's trying to reassure them that it's ok to take a lower price they do need.

We are permitted to think outside the box, but never outside the room. We are certainly not allowed to leave the room.